And This is Why I Avoid Shopping - A Hijacked Cart

Candy is my gateway drug for higher spending. Tonight, I just wanted a box of Jujyfruits candy for $1.49, but I left with a bill for 10 times that amount: $14.80. My shopping cart was hijacked by poor planning, and I don't plan to make that mistake again.


Here's what how I veered off the frugal path, and here's how I plan to adjust:

• Candy: Although I feast on organic fruits and vegetables, I have a weakness for Gummi Bears and fruity, chewy candies. In contradiction of my all-natural health values, my sweet tooth involves ingesting lots of artificial colors and flavors. The hidden health and dental costs should prohibit me. I should eat less candy. As a gateway drug, it's clear that my urge to buy a small box of candy has sent me spiraling down the path of greater expenses.

• Automatic Doors: Why do so many stores have automatic doors? Answer: Even as you try to scoot by without entering, the automatic doors pull you in. And once inside, the cash register is a magnet for your wallet. Solution: Avoid automatic doors and don't take the first step inside of most retail stores.

• Shopping List: If I had entered the store with a shopping list, I would have left the store with more money. Without a list, I walked around and convinced myself that I needed: Burt's Bees Super Shiny Zesty Red Natural Lip Gloss ($6.99), Women's World magazine ($1.79) and cotton pads for my face ($2.99).

• Exit Strategy: Once I picked up the box of candy, I should have marched to the cash register and then headed to the red exit sign. The best exit strategy: Do not stop at "Go." Do not linger at "Free Parking." This is real life Monopoly, and the store is high-rent property.

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Here's how to buy my new book:

@ Amazon.com
@ Barnes & Noble
@ Borders
@ Target.com

Looking for Sea Cows: My Daughter's Frugal Play Date

Scenario: School vacation and my daughter, age 9, was home with a friend. We were set for a trip to the Miami Children's Museum, but the girls invented their own frugal fun with little prompting from me.

Here's what they did:

1. Read books.

2. Cooked: Using the microwave, Nori (sushi) rolls and frozen vegetables, the girls invented "mini-pocket veggie sushi rolls." With tamari (soy sauce), ginger and garlic, they also created a dipping sauce.

3. Baked: With oven-assistance from me, they made a mushy fruit pie using frozen fruits, 2 pie crusts, powdered cinnamon and apple sauce. It looked horrible, tasted yucky, but they had so much fun.

4. Electronic hand-held games: My daughter is into some kind of Nintendo electronic pet (a dog) that hears her voice and interacts with her. She has even named him "Lucky" and this electronic pet --no joke--responds when she calls him. I am totally clueless about that relationship.

5. Played with our real dog. Who knew our pet Scruffy was so entertaining? Even walking the dog, (I held the leash) was an adventure. Watching me clean up from the dog was also very funny. I was less amused.

6. Organized my stuff. These tween girls are professional organizers in training. They loved, loved, loved cleaning out my big huge purse. It was like a treasure hunt and they enjoyed making everything neat and commenting on my inner linings. And I paid them $5 bucks for such abuse and disapproval.

7. Ordered take-out Chinese. They pooled their funds and ordered won ton soup, fried curry dumplings and other treats from the new Kosher Chinese Restaurant near our home. This project involved 1) creating a budget, 2) selecting a menu, 3) adding up figures and 4) placing an order. They even enjoyed waiting outside for the delivery man and debating about his tip.

8. Looking for Manatees. Around 3:00, I felt very guilty. The girls -- with little input from me -- had entertained themselves and I had spent very little time or money on them. So I invited them on a manatee mission. We live near the ocean and on a lake/canal that feeds the Atlantic Ocean. From the docks near our building, we have spotted manatees (sea cows), dolphins, sting rays and jelly fish. However, during our recent outing, there was not much to see: one little zebra fish, some hermit crabs and a lot of murky water. But we had fun looking.

On the way back into the building, we purchased Powerade drinks from a nearby bodega. My working-mommy guilt prompted me to treat them to soft drinks, which I usually avoid.

What I Learned: The Children's Museum -- a very worthwhile trip with lots of fun things to do -- would have cost $30, excluding transportation and related expenses. (For sure, we would have spent at least another $10 during that trip.) And I would have gladly paid that fare because of all the creative activities available.

One of the museum's attractions is the make-believe work-station play area. Basically, museum go-ers can pretend to be different types of grown-ups or professionals. And that's great and creative, but the girls created their own true-to-life workstations for far less.

So I don't feel so guilty about working while they played. Besides, I helped with the mushy fruit pie; I let them scold me about my messy purse and I went with them to look for sea cows.

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"So When You're Rich, You Won't Have To Be Frugal," He Told Me

I was on a street corner, when a reader stopped and offered kind words about one of my newspaper columns in the home & design section of the Miami Herald. Very nice man! But he concluded his praise with the comment: "What are you going to write about when you're rich and don't have to be frugal anymore?"


I laughed and tried to explain that even if I were very wealthy, I would still live frugally. In fact, many of the wealth management books that I've read -- including the The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy (1996, ISBN 0-671-01520-6) by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko-- are filled with examples of very frugal millionaires. Here's a snippet from The Millionaire Next Door.

Here are the reasons why I'd still be frugal even if were a millionaire:

1. My children. Quite frankly, I don't want my kids to be brats. If we spent, spent spent, I'd worry about the message that I would be sending to my children. I also worry about affluenza--a financial illness that strikes spoiled kids from affluent homes. As a banking reporter, I once interviewed a very wealthy man who sold his bank for about $300 million in cash. He spoke about the issue of affluenza in harsh tones.

This is the advice he gave me. He told me that it is important to raise your kids with good thrifty values. "You can spend money to fix everything: their teeth, nose, skin. But you can't fix their personalities if they're brats." I really took that advice to heart.


What's more, I've noticed that some of my very, very high-net worth friends are very serious about making sure their kids work for a living. They find part-time jobs, internships and other money-earning enterprises for their kids or they encourage their kids to find those opportunities on their own. It's not about the money; it's about character.


2. My Children: I want to leave them with the means to live comfortably after I've gone to the next world. But if I spend it all now, I won't have anything to leave them later.

I've heard horror stories about families who have lived a luxurious life, but have been reduced to low-income status after a main wage earner suddenly died. Why? The family was living above its means and the lofty lifestyle was really only a fat paycheck-to-fat paycheck existence.

Also, if I were very wealthy, I'd live frugally in order to have enough money to share with my extended family and to pay them back for all of the years of hard work and support.

3. My own sanity. I've gone on marathon shopping sprees that have filled my arms with packages, but have depleted my heart and bank account. The worst shopping trip: In Manhattan during my late 20s, I once went went to every Ann Taylor store on the island (from the Upper West Side to the Lower Manhattan). I was searching for one shirt that was on sale for $20. I found the shirt and purchased one in every color.


Obviously, something was really missing from my life. But definitely, that missing piece of my heart was not in my shopping bag. And clearly, I was clueless. Frugal living, in contrast, keeps me more honest about what's really going on in my life.

4. Environment: When I live very frugally, I conserve energy, money and other resources. I just pay more attention to the world around me.


5. Good Karma: Now this logic may not apply to everyone: but in my heart of hearts, I think that if I save and spend money wisely, I'll have more funds to donate to charities, cultural organizations and to the homeless. And that cycle of giving will enhance the quality of my life.


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Digg!

The Frugal Duchess Booktique
The Frugal Duchess of Beauty Store

Book Shop of Fear
The Poetry & Drama Queen
Frugal Jazz & Blues
Frugal Comic Book Connection
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