Kiplinger.com: 7 Lessons From the Financial Meltdown

In this guest post, Kiplinger.com offers 7 Lessons from the Meltdown, including:

"1) Where's the money? You'd better know—literally. The reported $50-billion swindle orchestrated by Bernard Madoff and other fleece jobs should put to rest the notion that you can get rich from unpublicized investment opportunities unavailable to mere mortals. If you give any adviser discretion to buy and sell investments without your prior go-ahead, you must demand to know where your money sleeps.

2) Cash is never trash. True, you'll never get rich earning 1% a year in a money-market fund. But that's no reason to insult a larger-than-usual cash reserve. The beauty of cash in times like these isn't that it protects you from losses in stocks and other stuff, although it does do that. The lure of cash is that it enables you to pick up investments on sale. Gobs of quality stocks fell more than 50% but have now risen substantially in the last six months. You couldn't buy them unless you had some money in reserve.

3) Wild swings over short periods are the new normal. How many times in the past year and a half have the market and sector averages fallen hard one day and soared the next? Or bounced more than 1% up and down several times during the same day's trading? "Fire, ready, aim" describes how traders act today. Don't expect any change soon, if ever.

4) Don't deify those who warned about losses. Few people who get paid to predict the market's fluctuations get it right. However, if you have an adviser who isn't habitually negative but urged you to switch more into cash and Treasuries a year ago, then you should shower him or her with praise. Sending over a nice bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers would be an appropriate thank-you gesture."

Here's the link: For the other financial meltdown lessons.

Fixing the Ferret: Lessons From a Faulty Toy

My daughter fixed her ferret with a foot of fishing string. As such, our story about a defective toy has a happy ending. Our quick repair taught us valuable lessons. Here's what we have learned:

• Hit the return button. Why didn't we return the broken toy, asked one reader after reading the original story: Cheated By a Ferret: One Child's Lesson. We have several reasons: 1) We lost the receipt; 2) we trashed the original packaging, and 3) most importantly, we were too annoyed to think of the obvious. Anger can be counter-productive. Anger can be expensive. The faulty ferret should have been returned for cash or store credit.
  
  


• Be creative: My daughter found inspiration in a piece of clear fishing string, which resembled the original "invisible" string that made the ferret move. From her repair, I learned to think outside the tackling box and to constantly consider ways to find new uses for everyday materials that are around the home.
  
  


• Repair, recycle, reuse: It's tempting to toss out worn, broken or outdated merchandise, including toys, clothing and shoes. We live in a disposable society, and we're often quick to contribute to landfills. My goal is to find new uses for old items, including an old teapot, worn out socks and old calendars.

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Shopping Alarms About Kids & Money: A Grocery Store Lesson

An alarm went off when my friend Yael recently paid for her groceries. It was a basic transaction. She paid for the food with a debit card and requested cash back.

However, when her pre-school son watched the exchange of plastic for food and cash, a siren sounded. "Mommy," he shouted. "You won a prize." Alarmed, Yael decided it was time to teach him more about money.

Nationwide, other parents are finding gaps in their children's financial education. For instance, according to a recent T. Rowe Price survey, nearly 60 percent of parents feel as if they should be doing more to school their children about finances. Here are a few lesson plans:

Child labor and allowances: My school-age children get a boost when they earn money from household chores, baby-sitting or lemonade stands, and it's not just about the cash. Earning and managing a few dollars improves their common sense and self-esteem. Such lessons can begin with toddlers, with small chores and rewards.


Shopping trips: Going to the grocery store with children typically leads to higher food bills. But the short-term detour around sugar cereals and other treats can create long-lasting "teachable moments" about unit-pricing, marketing gimmicks and nutrition.


New age tools: The Internet has a wealth of finance games for kids. My daughter, for example, has spent hours at http://www.webkinz.com/ and http://www.neopets.com/, which offer imaginary financial systems in which children earn salaries, build homes and make virtual purchases. The money is not real, but the lessons are valuable. Other sites include: http://www.thegreatpiggybankadventure.com/ and www.ustreas.gov/kids/ (from the Treasury Department).


Old school tools: A game of Monopoly can last for hours with lessons about saving, spending and investing. Over that board game, my kids have become savvy about the value of budgets and delayed gratification. It's not just about paper money or color-coded blocks of real estate.

They Lived in a Station Wagon: Lessons From One Family

A family from Copake Falls, NY lived in their car for two months and 11 days. Both parents were employed, but became homeless when their landlord went into foreclosure. From laundry to dinner meals, basic living expenses cost more when you don't have a home, according to Dennis and Pamela Marks.

Their story was featured in the April 2009 issue of All You magazine.

Background:
Dennis and Pamela Marks, plus five children, lived in a trailer. With the pending arrival of a sixth child, the family was outgrowing that home.

They sold the trailer and rented "a nice three-bedroom house with a yard." It was sweet set-up, until a three-day eviction notice arrived. The landlord had fallen behind on the mortgage payments, and the bank had seized the property. That was in May of 2007.

Finding a new -- and affordable home -- in three days was difficult. Very few people wanted to rent to a large family. "By then end of the third day, we had no more options --we slept in our old Ford station wagon that night," Pamela Marks told All You magazine.


Life in a Car:
With kids ages 4-16, the family slept in the parking lot of their employer. At times, the school-age children spent nights in the homes of friends, but on most nights the family slept in the station wagon. Finally after two months, the Marks were able to find an affordable home.


Life Lessons From Pamela Marks:

• The homeless tax: Life costs more when you have less. For instance, the Marks paid about $200 per month to do the laundry. Likewise, meals at fast-food restaurants created a high monthly tab. "The kids hated it, but it was all we could afford," Pamela Marks said.


• Appreciation: When they found a home, the family was grateful for small pleasures, such as stability, home-cooked meals and fresh vegetables. The children learned to be more compassionate and are eager to help others in need.


• Ask for help: There were a variety of programs that could have provided the Marks family with shelter or assistance, but after being urned down by one program, the family stopped seeking help. Pamela Marks offers this advice for those facing financial trouble: "Wade through the bureaucracy to find the services that you need...Looking back, I wished we had reached out more for help."


• Look for free activities: While they were homeless, Pamela and Dennis Marks entertained their kids with a wide range of free activities from parks, museums and libraries.

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Sharon is the author of the Frugal Duchess: How to Live Well and Save Money -- a coming of age memoir about money -- and a contributing writer in Wise Bread's 10,0001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget.

Welcome ABC News Now Viewers: How to Unspoil Your Child

I recently had the pleasure of appearing on ABC News Now to chat about the subject of children and money.

The topic was prompted by this post: How to Unspoil Kids: A Crash Course from Money Magazine with insights from Linsey Knerl of Wise Bread, who has written a great piece about what we should tell our kids about money.

Here is a link to the ABC News video segment: How To 'Un-Spoil' Your Child.



Thanks to the folks from ABC for inviting me to appear.

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Sharon is the author of the Frugal Duchess: How to Live Well and Save Money -- a coming of age memoir about money -- and a contributing writer in Wise Bread's 10,0001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget.

5 Things to Do When You Get Bored With Being Frugal

Turn off the lights. Check the receipt. Clip the coupons. And so on....Being frugal can get old and boring after a bit.

It's like adding 1 + 1. The answer is simple. Frugal living boils down to one principal: Save more than you make, and the rest is just commentary.

But boredom is dangerous. When I get bored with being thrifty, it's easier to fall of the thrift wagon. Here's how I keep frugal living real and fresh.


1. Pay Attention. When I'm fully engaged --really connected to the here-and-now -- I'm constantly learning and acquiring new insights. When I look for frugal lessons and metaphors on bus rides or radio commercials, the creative spark prompts me to save more money.

2. Check Financial Statements: Reviewing bank statement provides a reality check. If the account looks good, I'm encouraged and energized. If the account is anemic, I've scared myself out of a few frivolous shopping trips.

3. Call Frugal Friends: There are certain friends -- online and in-person -- who really inspire me to save. A conversation with them is like a booster shot.

4. Review Goals: A periodic review of financial and personal goals, usually provides fuel for another savings drive. I am instantly reminded of my plans to build an emergency fund, college savings accounts, a retirement nest egg and even an account for vacations.

5. Invest in Small Treats: Well-timed luxuries provide safeguards against binge spending. For example, my almost daily servings of organic blueberries fills me with a sense of wealth and well-being, and those feelings make me less likely to binge spend. Consider this post: Why Organic Blueberries Make Me Feel Rich



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An Awful Flight Taught Me Market Lessons

A few weeks ago, I had a rough flight from Miami to New York City. It was the perfect ride for a turbulent era, and I learned a lot about money and the markets during that trip. That's because the flight was almost as volatile as the stock market following a grim unemployment report.

As we rocked and dropped through cloud vapors, I studied my options: 1) Pray, 2)Write notes to friends and family, or 3) Go to sleep.

I decided against sleep. Been there, done that. In fact, I can honestly say that I've slept or sleepwalked through other periods of personal or financial turbulence. But that solution solved very little and instead, when I was finally jolted awake, I rubbed my eyes feeling dumb and dumbfounded. So I nixed the sleep option.

Write letters to friends and family? Not very practical, especially due to the up-and-down motion of the plane. And besides, I was too tense and too lazy to string together a coherent sentence. I can't write when I'm uptight.

Prayers? Hmm. Frankly, I offered up a few whispered bargains, deals and promises. And whatever I said, must have worked because I'm here now in front of my Dell laptop computer, which needs a new battery. (And I'm now praying that my battery will be recalled, so that I can call the company for a free replacement.) And anyway, while praying I stared at the clouds and while meditating on clouds, I had a flight of clarity. I calculated that if that moment in the air was really my last, I could at least enjoy the ride.

I re-considered the turbulence. It was a fun ride. In fact, at Disneyworld and Universal Studios I have paid good money -- lots of money --over the years for such thrill rides. And if this was going to be my last flight, at least, I could relax and enjoy myself.

Okay, so I'm not trying to sound like a Pollyanna, but at that moment, the terror stopped even though the turbulence continued. I had no control over the plane, but I could control my roller coaster of emotions. And I am applying that lesson to my obsessions about politics, world events, job security, regrets, missed opportunities and economic uncertainty.

My new contract: I'm going to do my best, say a few prayers and admire clouds. And yeah, I'm enjoying the ride.

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What Obama Taught Me About Personal Finance

Barak Obama's historical presidential victory is one for the record books. Here are a few of the professional and personal finance lessons that I have learned from the president-elect's campaign.

1. Use technology to improve your fortune: Led by campaign manager David Plouffe and campaign strategist David Axelrod, the Obama campaign aggressively used technology. Facebook, e-mails, text messages and other online social networking tools helped Obama create a financial and political network.

Personal Lesson: Stay current with high-tech trends. Continue to look for opportunites to earn, network and learn online. My career could depend on how well I use various tools.

For the past two years, he's run a sprawling presidential campaign with tentacles in every state that raised some $650 million from 3.1 million donors.-- from Forbes.com

While Republicans and Mrs Clinton saw the political possibilities of the Internet as gimmicky, Mr Obama made it central to his campaign and his fundraising apparatus. --from Telegraph.co.uk

2. Use old-school networks: In addition to all of the bells and whistles of new-age technology, the Obama campaign also relied on a network of old-school face-to-face grassroots teams.

Personal Lesson: In addition to my laptop, email account and blog, I should also rely on traditional meet-and-greet events and opportunities. I need to attend more industry events and gatherings.

Obama also has the largest grassroots network of active operatives of any campaign in history.-- from Forbes.com

3. Delegate and build teams. Most successful drives --in sports, money and politics --are built on cooperation, team spirit and delegation.

Personal Lesson: From launching a book to raising children, I've learned the value of relying on the talents and time of family, friends, neighbors and co-workers.

On average, Obama has several thousand active supporters in each congressional district. Obama could ping them, with the same sort of calling and e-mailing tasks his volunteers fulfilled on the campaign--only this time to apply pressure to their congressmen. -- from Forbes.com

4. Show gratitude:

On Tuesday night, with the election results showing a decisive victory and Sen. John McCain offering a concession, Obama e-mailed a few million of his closest friends: "We have a lot of work to do to get our country back on track, and I'll be in touch soon about what comes next," he wrote. Then, signing off, "Thank you, --Barack."
-- from Forbes.com

5. Be organized and stay disciplined

He also was an incredible candidate who had a very tight, well-run campaign. They used the tools of the Internet and community building. It's a model for how campaigns will be run in the future." -- from Telegraph.co.uk

Throughout the campaign, the disciplined and nimble Obama team marched through a presidential contest of historic intensity learning to exploit opponents' weaknesses and making remarkably few mistakes. --from New York Times

6. Think about others. Look beyond yourself.

McCain created a great narrative about John McCain. Obama created a great narrative about America and its future. This was a new frontier election and Obama gave voters a vision of an America renewed, confident and restored."-- from Telegraph.co.uk

7. Aim for perfection:

Mr. Obama and his aides believed from the outset that the campaign would have to be nothing less than perfect -- this was an African-American man with an unusual name and past. --New York Times

8. Tackle difficult issues:

On March 18, Mr. Obama gave a landmark speech on race at the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia. He used the speech to distance himself from his former pastor, the Jeremiah A. Wright, who had made several controversial statements. -- New YorkTimes

9. Embrace change:

On June 3, Mr. Obama campaigned on a promise of bringing change to Washington. "You know in your hearts that at this moment -- a moment that will define a generation -- we cannot afford to keep doing what we've been doing," he said. "We owe our children a better future."--New York Times

10. Stay calm.

Mr. Obama kept himself, and his team, on an even keel — a character trait that paid immense dividends in the closing stages, when his understated approach to the economic crisis came off to many voters as steady leadership. --Near-Flawless
Run Is Credited in Victory

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Save Money on Cars & 4 Other Lessons from the Wealthy

Spend a lower percentage of your income on cars. That's one of five lessons that wealthy people can teach us, according to Liz Pulliam Weston in a msn.com story called: 5 lessons the rich can teach you.

The lessons include:

1. Give away money:

"Households with $500,000 or more in investible assets gave away 6% of their incomes in 2004, and those with net worth of $5 million, excluding primary residences, contributed 6.1% of their incomes. That compares to an average of about 2% for all American households and 4% for households with incomes under $25,000, according to American Demographics...."

2. Own a business:

Overall, about 12% of American families own all or part of a privately held business, according to the Federal Reserve, compared to 41% of those whose net worth puts them in the top 10% of households.

3. Borrow wisely:

The wealthy are only slightly less likely to owe money than average folks, according to the Fed, but how they borrow is quite different.

Hint: (The rich have fewer installment loans --auto loans and credit-card loans, but take out more mortgages. The wealthy seem to borrow money to purchase appreciating assets, rather than take out loans on items that lose value, such as cars, clothing, etc.


4. Hold the limit on auto spending:

...vehicles represented just 2.4% of the wealthiest households' median net worth, compared with 8.8% of net worth overall.

5. Be a homeowner and invest in other types of real estate:

About 40% of the highest-net-worth group own some kind of real estate such as rental property or a second home, compared to 11% overall.

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Kiplinger's Financial Tips for Teaching Kids About Money

After yesterday's post about shopping with my daughter, this financial lesson plan for kids tagged me at the home plate. It's from the folks at Kiplinger’s Personal Finance and it's an age-by-age guide.

The tip about declining prepaid debit cards for kids is wonderful!

Here is the article with a link to the full article in the magazine:

"The new school year is a time of fresh beginnings—a great opportunity for parents to establish some financial lessons. How much allowance should your kids receive? At what age? In the September issue of Kiplinger’s Personal Finance, deputy editor and “Kids and Money” columnist Janet Bodnar explains what your children need to know about money—and how and when to teach them:

Ages 3-5: Big-Picture Years. Keep things simple and don't expect too much. Encourage kids to put coins in a vending machine or pay the ice-cream man. They can play with fun savings banks, learn the difference between pennies, nickels and dimes, or collect state quarters. The more hands-on the activity, the better.

Ages 6-7: Time to Start an Allowance. How much to give? Start with a basic weekly allowance equal to half the child's age. Tie the allowance to "financial chores"—spending responsibilities that the kids take over from you. To make the connection between work and pay, give your children the opportunity to earn money by doing extra jobs such as vacuuming or raking leaves.

Ages 8-10: Bank on It. Help your kids open their own savings account. Should you require your kids to save? Not necessarily—but you can have them divvy up their allowance into pots of money for spending, saving, charitable giving, even investing. Have your children save toward a goal, whether it's a toy or a new baseball glove. And you can always encourage kids to save by matching what they put aside for your very own family 401(k).

Ages 11-13: Parent Power. As you head into the difficult 'tween years, remember that parents have power. Kids will listen to you if you have a clear message and deliver it consistently. Expand their allowance money to include more discretionary purchases such as video games and movie tickets. Kids shouldn't hit you up for 20 bucks every time they head to the mall. Having to chip in their own money puts a natural brake on spending. If you're an investor, introduce them to the stock market with small purchases of stock through sites such as www.ShareBuilder.com and www.MyStockDirect.com.

Ages 14-15: Stick With Cash. Parents should decline prepaid debit cards which banks aim squarely at this age group. Stick with cash. Even at this age, plastic of any kind isn't as real to kids as money they can see and feel. Expand their allowance to include clothing, concerts and other high-school entertainment. Encourage them to get a job—at least over the summer.

Ages 16-18 and Into College: Hold the Plastic. Teens don't realize that a credit card is not free money. They need to know that when you use a card, you're borrowing from the card issuer, which will charge you a high rate of interest. Cash is still king. Help your kids open a checking account (and get a debit card) so they can learn how to balance a checkbook—either by using a check register or online entry—before they head off to college."

Source: Kiplinger’s Personal Finance

Here the link to the full article about financial lessons for kids.

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How Come I'm Not Rich? 10 Excuses

There are many definitions of wealth and success. And by many measures, I'm a very wealthy woman. But on a dollar-for-dollar basis, I'm not as wealthy as I could be.


"Why aren't you rich?" That's the question (from Day # 75) in Year To Success by Bo Bennett. Here are a few of his theories and common excuses:

*No. 1. We don't really want wealth.

*No. 2. We're clueless about building wealth. (Lack of knowledge).

*No. 3. Some of us secretly believe that wealth is evil. (Poverty is noble!)

• No. 4. Lack of time



• No. 5. Destiny: We're fated to be poor. (Family history or personal karma limit our bank account and lifestyle.)



• No. 6. Constant failure. We're trying. We're trying.



• No. 7. Fenced in by bills. Day-to-day concerns preempt long-term dreams of wealth.



• No. 8. Waiting, hoping "for the right opportunity."



• No. 9. Faith in a future inheritance, the lottery or some other sudden windfall of wealth.



• No. 10 Hoping to marry a rich partner.

Obviously, those are all poor excuses. To get past the excuse-making stage, Bennett recommends that we write down our personal alibis and examine our real reasons for staying in a financial pit. Next brainstorm for ways to solve our money problems. Here are a few possible solutions: Do we need to take a course on finance or improve our workplace skills? Do we need to visit a financial planner or start an emergency fund? Should we get a part-time job or start a side business? Those are a few questions and solutions to consider.

For example, my own list includes excuses: No. 4 lack of time; No. 7 day-to-day responsibilities; and No. 8 waiting for golden opportunities.

My insights: Disorganization and poor planning are the culprits. With better planning, I can meet the financial pressures of day-t0-day living and still have time to work on long-term projects that offer handsome payoffs.

My Action Plan includes:

1) Better organization.

2) Elimination of procrastination.

3) Setting aside daily blocks of time for long-term projects and personal development.

4) More exercise and relaxation. Workouts and meditation increase my mental focus and decision-making abilities.

Likewise, with better planning, I don't have to wait for golden opportunities or pray for large blocks of free time. With an organized plan and daily goals, I can balance long-term wealth building projects, with short-term actitivities that provide an immediate pay-back to cover bills.

Losing $30K in a BF's Hedge Fund & Other Big Goofs With Money

One woman lost $30,000 the old-fashioned way. She gave it to her boyfriend to manage. She invested in a hedge fund run by the dear BF. He's now sitting behind bars (grand larceny and securities fraud) and she has a fat $30,000 deficit in her accounts.

That's just a snippet of the great financial stories from the 12-page special section on "Women & Wealth" in the February issue of Town & Country.

My Reality Check: I can't relate to the size of the losses experienced by some Town & Country readers, but if I chop off a few zeroes, I can relate to the process. For instance, one reader regrets running through a $50,000 inheritance by spending "on inconsequential things." Likewise, about 10 years ago, we received $5,000 when an older relative passed away. We didn't waste all of the money, but I don't remember how any of it was spent. I wish we had just invested the entire sum.

Here are other major financial confessions from T&C readers.

• Overreacting to stock market turbulence: After stock prices dramatically fell in 1989, one reader quickly unloaded a large portion of her investment portfolio. She was terrified that the securities would quickly become worthless. The Lesson: She realized that if she had thought and waited, she would have realized that her portfolio -- a collection of "sound investments" -- would have bounced back. "I would have been much better off," she told T&C. I've also made rapid-fire decisions that I have later regretted. Panic rarely produces smart long-term moves.


• Fashion slave: A trendy closet can exact a hefty penalty, especially when a shopper heavily invests in expensive trends. "I've had to give more out-of-date clothing to charity than I want to admit," one reader confessed. The Lesson: Buy classic clothing. Don't heavily invest in flavor-of-the-month trends. If you have to buy trendy stuff, shop at deep discount stores.
  
  
• Retail Therapy: "Using retail therapy to entertain myself during my forties, instead of applying focus and discipline with my earnings." -- T&C reader. Don't get me started on this topic.




• Delayed retirement planning: "Not understanding in my twenties to invest in my own future.....I started when I was 33. Big Mistake!"-- T&C reader.




• Star-struck by a well-known broker: One reader was overly impressed by an investment adviser from a high-profile firm. Feeling star-struck, she let herself be led into a risky money market account that was created by that firm. The account was touted as a high-returning investment vehicle. The reader lost 50 percent of her assets in that account. The Lesson: "[I] have never followed the financial advice of a supposedly licensed adviser again. I do my own research and invest in known, solid mutual funds with a long history of results."--T&C reader




• Delegating inheritance decisions: One woman failed to take "an active role" in handling her inheritance. The Lesson: "After two lawsuits, I prevailed but lost a lot of innocence, time and the ability to trust the 'good intentions' of family." --T&C reader.

The other major mistakes related to women who invested too much faith in the investment decisions made by the men in their lives, including ex-husbands. More about that in a later post.

Using Martial Arts to Save More Money

A few years ago, I studied kickboxing and I'm now back in a Dojo to improve my financial performance. Specifically, Dojo Wisdom for Writers by Jennifer Lawler is a great tool for personal finance. The book uses martial arts concepts to illustrate 100 quick lessons about the writing craft, but many of the tips also apply to personal finance.

Here are a few of my favorite lessons:

Lesson # 1 Get a Teacher

Martial arts application: Martial artists rely heavily on black belt instructors for wisdom, techniques and guidance.

Writing application: "Every writer needs a teacher," Lawless writes. She recommends taking a writing class or finding a mentor for guidance. Books, tapes and industry gatherings also provide insights.

Financial application: Learning about money and personal finance is an ongoing process. I learn from courses, other bloggers, Wall Street professionals and assorted publications.


Lesson # 3 Guard the Centerline

Martial arts application: Martial artists make themselves less vulnerable to assault by "protecting their centerline." The centerline includes sensitive areas such as the abdomen, throat, face and chest. The technique: use your arms and legs to protect the centerline.

Writing application: If writing is important to me, I have to protect my centerline by allocating time for writing, research and planning. Guarding the centerline also involves protecting my self-esteem and avoiding negativity.

Financial application: Preserve the bottom line and protect your financial goals. For example, if my goal is to put more money in an emergency fund, I should avoid wasting money on junk food and clothes that I don't need. Protecting the centerline also involves creating priorities and sticking to a budget.


Lesson # 5 Try Meditation

Martial Arts application: "Martial artists meditate for many reasons. They meditate to empty their minds and to achieve aiki or impassive mind, which helps them respond to threats and challenges." --p. 10

Writing application: Meditation clears the mind for writing and improves focus. Visualization exercises also create useful images of successful writing projects.

Financial application: Mindful living -- which includes meditation -- prompts me to make smarter choices. Specifically, I'm learning to slow down and think carefully before spending money. It's important to be very mindful of the choices and financial goals.


Lesson #7 "Respect your opponent."

Martial Arts application: A savvy martial artist has a healthy level of respect for opposing fighters and avoids make quick judgments founded on deceptive appearances or other assumptions.

Writing application: The writing industry is filled with assorted challenges. Take time to fully appreciate difficult assignments, time management skills and rejections.

Financial application: I try to understand how marketers, credit card companies and stores create pitches to trap consumers into spending more money. Additionally, I try to understand and respect my financial weaknesses. For example, if I have trouble passing up end-of-season sales, I save money by not going to the mall when the sales are in full force.


Lesson # 13 "Discipline leads to strength"

Martial Arts application: The discipline of constant training produces the dividend of stronger muscles, greater flexibility and improved technique for martial artists.

Writing application: The daily practise of writing and rewriting improves creative techniques.

Financial application: Fiscal discipline, budgets and spending limits will strengthen my financial muscles. The more I save, the more comfortable I will become with the process. Discipline builds momentum.

Barking Dogs, Stinking Turtles and Sick Hamsters Taught Me About Money

My children have a dog (left). I think about money and life when I walk Scruffy. Thinking deep thoughts makes me feel philosophical about picking up poop. As such, walking the dog becomes a Zen-like activity. Clearly, my children have not manipulated me into puppy patrol, but have given me the gift of meditation.

Here are some of the financial metaphors I have picked out of the grass:

The Big Barking Dog: Last Friday night, Scruffy and I were really spooked by a big barking dog behind a tall fence. We didn't see the dog, but we heard him bark and he sounded big. Terrified, we darted off the sidewalk and into the path of fast-moving street traffic, which was dangerous.

As we fled, I had a flash -- not a hot flash, (not yet, thank you) -- but a visual flash of a question: What if the mysterious dog was just a little tiny pisher? What if we had placed ourselves into danger for no reason? And even if the dog was big, could it have jumped the thick fence? I realized that we were terrified of the unknown.

And that's true about money also: How much do I really need to save for retirement? How much will it cost to put my three school-age kids through college? How much will I need for health-care expenses? How much should I budget for car repairs?

Those questions are Big Barking Dogs Behind a Fence. Those dogs bark in my sleep and even when I play hallway soccer with my 9-year-old daughter, I hear barking dogs. I'll feel safer when I identify my financial dogs and get answers to questions that nag me. Knowledge reduces fear.

Beware of Stray Cats: My dog looks tough but he's scared of stray cats and squirrels. Therefore, I've learned to scan the horizon and keep a tight grip on the leash because I know Scruffy will try to bolt if he sees a small wild animal. If I'm not alert, Scruffy tugs me away and I am pulled in odd directions as if I were a racer on a Snow Dog Race Course, but without the snow, the sled or the protective gear.

Lesson: Stay alert and keep a grip on the financial leash. Be prepared for turmoil and stray cat moments.

Street Temptations: A dog is a dog a dog. And my dog likes to run in the street. I keep him on a tight leash. I train my little puppy and I'm constantly on guard for runaway moments. With vigilance I can tame his street temptations.

Lesson: A shopper is a shopper is a shopper. And my inner diva likes to shop and spend money. I keep myself on a tight leash. I train my inner shopper to be frugal and I'm constantly on guard for runaway shopping cart moments. With vigilance, I can control my street temptations.

Live this Moment: I used to have a small quiet fit about the dog. Confession: I didn't really want him. I felt tricked and manipulated into getting the dog. What's more, I so disliked our other pets. The turtles smelled terrible and changing their water made me feel like vomiting. The fish were annoying and don't get me started about that little hamster that used to run around our house and totally terrify me.

He died and honestly, I had nothing to do with it. We spent almost $300 on cancer treatments for that hamster. Don't ask! Hint: Hamsters have a short life, that usually ends with tumors. We didn't know this and we spent about $300 trying to cure an $8 hamster. We should have gone the hospice route. We know better now. Clearly, knowledge is power.

After the hamster era, (we had three), I was very vulnerable to the pleas about The Dog. But as a write-at-home mom, I am in my apartment all day with The Dog. Yesterday, for example, I owed the Miami Herald a story by 4 pm. But The Dog had to go to the bathroom and was whining. My options: A crying dog/messy floor or an angry editor. It was easier to plead with the editor. I walked the dog, scooped the poop and filed my story late. Sorry Kathy!

So, it might seem that I am willing to put the dog up for adoption. No way!! I love Scruffy and I've made my peace with my dog-walking duties. If it were not for Scruffy, I would sit behind a computer screen for hours and hours with no exercise.

I eat extra ice cream and still fit into my clothes because I have to walk Scruffy every day.
I get extra stress-busting exercise because of my dog. My dog feeds me stories.

Lesson: Some of my largest dividends and insights have come from difficult situations. I learn about money, life and fitness from every challenge, even crappy moments in the grass.

Previous Posts:

Cheap Travel Guide: Month-by-Month, City-by-City Hotel Savings Rates
Be Smart about Face Time & Other Tips for Building Job Security
Organize the Living Room; Organize Your Life
My Broken Cow Handles: Milking Cheap Ceramic for Frugal Lessons

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Sharon Harvey Rosenberg is the author of The Frugal Duchess of South Beach:How to Live Well and Save Money... Anywhere! , which will be published in the Spring of 2008 by DPL Press.
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A Public Apology: Making Peace with a 20-Something Diva

This is a public apology to a big-spending, low-saving, 20-something diva. Yeah, that was me in the 1980s with the big processed hair, puffy shoulder pads and the heavy eyeliner. It's an amusing snapshot, but it's not a complete or fair portrait of my younger self.

The truth: Yeah, I was a hot mess during the 1980s. I made mistakes. But in an effort to a) show how much I've grown, b) how much I've accomplished and c) how funny I was back-in-the-day, I've often created a public and private image of my 1980s self that was glib and superficial. In many of my past posts, I've loudly complained about my inner shopping diva.

The truth: I was more than a space cadet, bubble head, airhead or even a diva. In fact, I owe a lot to the girl I was. Here's the balance sheet:

1. The shopping trips: I acquired more than tissue paper and cloth when I shopped 'til I dropped during the 1980s. I learned about seasonal discounts, comparison shopping and the hidden dangers of credit-card debt. And I learned to recognize the warning signs of emotional spending.

2. The low savings rate: Spin it this way. My financial mistakes were actually investments in a valuable hands-on monetary education. A comparable MBA course on personal finance would have cost thousands of dollars. I acquired that same knowledge by acquiring stuff and adventures. I was experimenting with money. And yes, some of my fiscal experiments were far-fetched, short-sighted or downright wacky. But my 20-something adventures yielded a deep reverence for the bottom line in money, relationships and personal growth.

3. Recognition of smart moves: During the 1980s, I changed careers by moving from broadcast journalism to the print media; I moved to New York City and I began learning about the craft of creative writing. Those career moves yielded concrete financial gains and personal satisfaction. I learned to take risks.

4. My rented homes: In hindsight, I realize that I've paid a fortune in rent. But the lack of home-ownership facilitated a nomad career, a creative spirit and financial flexibility.

5. Self-acceptance: For quite awhile, I've had bitter regrets about past financial and personal decisions. And I've secretly resented my younger self for making errors in judgment. But it's all a matter of choice and perspective. I can stay in a debtors' prison of regret and self-accusations or I can increase the value of old accounts by reviewing the past with fresh and forgiving eyes. I can constantly ask myself:

• What can I learn from this?


• How can I improve?


• What can I do better next time?


• What did I do right?


• How can I make amends?


• And finally, how can I let go and move on?

My 20-something self taught me the value of finding lessons in every moment and every action. Past mistakes have tutored me on the real value of life: It's not what we have or save or earn. Knowledge is the real asset. Self-awareness is the best real estate. (I have to know where I really live.) And gratitude is wealth.

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Sharon Harvey Rosenberg is the author of The Frugal Duchess of South Beach:How to Live Well and Save Money... Anywhere!, which will be published in the Spring of 2008 by DPL Press.

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Previous Posts:

The Best Book I've Ever Read About Making Changes Stick

I Found 7 Pennies & One Umbrella Under My Bed: Feng Shui Report

Salad Plate Lessons: Eating Green; Saving Green

Happy 2008! Famous Quotes for the New Year

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First-Person & Public: How Writing in the First-Person Saves Money

It's like going to the mall without make-up or even a smear of lipstick. That's how it feels to write a first-person column on finance under my real name. I recommend the process or other forms of peer group mentoring. Public discussion actually helps me to save money and to set realistic financial goals. Here's how:

The You vs. I bonus: A little while ago, Flexo of Consumerism Commentary wrote a column about keeping personal finance personal: (Thoughts On Finance Writing) Basically, he mentioned the importance of using the pronoun "I" instead of "you." He urged fellow personal finance bloggers to keep it real. Reading that column -- excellent as always -- had a profound impact on me. Here's the deal: I've written about stocks, bonds and the capital markets since the mid-1980s. I earned money by writing about OPM (other people's money).

But writing about personal finance is trickier when I put myself under the microscope. The process demands a different set of skills and disclosure than those I developed as a financial reporter. And although I continue to rely on news releases, industry studies and expert interviews, I've also started to write more columns about my own mistakes, triumphs and experiences.

That means I have to try many of the tips that appear in this space and then report on the process. For example, it's great to write about a money-saving, all-natural hair dye (cold brewed coffee on my greying hair). But to make it real, I actually poured coffee on my head. The experience provided a fun story and enhanced my life. And besides, the scent of coffee in my braids keeps me alert.

The Folks Factor: Because I write under my real name, I know that my Mom and Dad can easily track my personal accounting. Besides, they really know me and hold me accountable. (My phone will ring about 30 seconds after my folks read this post.) For example, earlier this year when I wrote about adding more money to an emergency fund, my parents wanted to see results not just words. Bottom Line: Pleasing M&D still matters to me.

The Mirror Factor: My blog reflection has to match my inner mirror reflection. Fears of sounding insincere or false keep me up at night. Therefore, if I write about saving energy, I feel obligated to turn off unnecessary lights throughout my home. And in fact, I just walked around my apartment and hit the off switch in two rooms and a bathroom. As such, blogging in the first person saves money.

The quest for new material: I write on a dining room table that faces the ocean. (I live in a low-rent building in a high-rent neighborhood.) I see a lot from this view point, but without constantly reading and reporting, my blog, life & finances get stale and stagnant. Therefore, in order to hunt down new topics and personal finance tools, I have to live a fuller life.

This year, for example, I'm plan to enroll in a 529 college savings plan for my middle-school son and elementary-age daughter. Maybe I'll also enroll in a DRIP stock program or some other investment. I also plan to try a new budgeting process that I read about in the Weekend Millionaire Mindset. My goal: Live it; earn it, save it & blog it.

Embrace the "YOU" pronoun: Of course, I'm not abandoning the second-person "you" pronoun and in 2008, many of my posts will continue to read like this: "You should try... or You should do... or You should save.... " But in those cases, that you means me. I'm not lecturing or preaching to anyone but myself. That understanding helps because as I blog about personal finance, I'm constantly reaching to improve my own financial portrait.

Other interesting posts on this topic:

From The Simple Dollar: Why Talking About Myself Is Important When Writing About Personal Finance

From Flexo: Why Do I Share My Finances Every Month?

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Sharon Harvey Rosenberg is the author of The Frugal Duchess of South Beach: How to Live Well and Save Money... Anywhere!, which will be published in May of 2008 by DPL Press.

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Previous Posts

Yesterday:

Park Carefully: 10 Frugal Tips for Post-Holiday Shopping
Holiday Zalute to Zo (Miami Heat!): 10 Reasons To Cheer for Alonzo Mourning
How to Recycle Christmas Trees: Mulch Conversion:

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My Jane Austen Biz Plan: 10 Smart Career Moves: An English Major's Aria

I'm not just a Bubble Head or (Bobble Head) and my English degree has paid handsome dividends. That's because Jane Austen has made me a business maven. Tutored by Jane, I've become more than an air-head in training. This post is the flip side of an earlier post:

Typing Class Regrets: My 10 Career Goofs: An English Major's Lament!

10 Smart Career Moves: An English Major's Aria

1. In Praise of Typing 101: In high school during the 1970s, typing class represented an academic detour usually reserved for future typing pool candidates of America. I was in the Honors Track, with no intention of joining the Pink Collar Ghetto. But Jane Austen taught me to have a broader mind. Many of her heroines-- even the wonderful Elizabeth Bennet -- had practical skills. So in a fit of practicality, I tapped into my inner typist during my teen years by enrolling into Personal Typing 101. I didn't take the class seriously; I underperformed, but I acquired a very marketable skill that I use every day.

Bottom Line: 1) I owe a huge debt to my teenage self. 2) Big air kiss to the little girl in the Big Afro (that's me at 17 in the photo) for learning that Big Hair doesn't translate into a little brain.

2. In Praise of An English Degree: Of course, I should have taken a few management courses. But here's the reality check: I would not have a career to manage in 2007, if as a college sophomore in 1977, I had not elected to major in English Lit at Georgetown University.

As an English major, I learned to write effective papers and to analyze texts. What's more, I learned to keep an open mind, which led me to ultimately pursue lessons about investments, real estate and wealth management. Money, I realized, plays a major role in every Jane Austen novel.

Bottom line: Before I learned to write about money, I had to learn to write. Thank you, Jane.

3. Internships: Sure, I should have landed an internship during my undgergrad years. But right after graduation, I landed a paid internship at a PBS station in Washington, DC. That opportunity led to a full-time job in television news. And during my early 20s, I kept learning from several mentors.

For example, on weekends (during my off-hours), I used to tag-along with a talented weekend news team, who provided valuable insights about writing and reporting. They taught me the importance of having an eye for details and an ear for accuracy.

Bottom Line: It's never too late to be an intern. Learning is an ongoing process.

4. The Big Duh! Factor: I've always kicked myself for failing to join the school newspapers in high school or college. Well duh: by default, I became almost as well-rounded as Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. Lizzie sews, walks, sings, plays the piano and reads a lot.

Bottom Line: It's important to have a diversified portfolio of income, talent and assets. My ADD tendencies have yielded diverse opportunities.

5. Graduate School: So what if I waited until age 49 to enroll in a graduate degree program? It took me that long to figure out what I really wanted to study. And after years of debating over a the merits of a law, MBA or a teaching degree, I've gone back to my academic roots: I'm now enrolled in an Interdisciplinary Liberal Arts masters program. It's Shakespeare, Renaissance Art with a bit of math and science thrown in.

Bottom Line: It takes a brain to be a scatterbrain.

6. Wall Street: Who knew business would become one of my passions? But consider how long it took Elizabeth Bennet to realize that she really loved Mr. Darcy. (Fitzwilliam Darcy). Life is full of surprises and unexpected plot twists.

Bottom Line: Don't write off any chapter. Don't discard any section of the newspaper or electronic new readers. Today's headlines could be tomorrow's pay check. Yesterday's heartbeat could be today's pulse.

7. Beauty obsessions: All of those hours I spent in beauty salons and day spas have paid unexpected dividends. Driven by all of that wasted time, I've become very efficient with time.

And I've become very skilled at doing my own hair and if the writing gig ever fails, maybe I'll go to beauty school and open my own day spa. I'll call it: The Beauty Business Suite Duchess.

Bottom line: My nails wouldn't be so hard today, if I hadn't polished and buffed them yesterday.

8. Self-help relationship books: Honestly: I wish I had that little memory-deleting gadget that Will Smith used in Men in Black. Armed with that device, I'd purge my system of about 5,000 pages of 1980s era Poor-Little-Me self-help relationship books. Fortunately, going back to my English major roots has helped. I'm encouraged by Pride and Prejudice because Elizabeth Bennet ultimately balances her emotional accounts and faces her lack of self-honesty.

Bottom Line: You are what you read and I've been reading a lot of books on business, literature, meditation, Torah and more. And of course, lots of Jane Austen and Toni Morrison.

9. Computers: After a slow start as a Luddite, I've re-invented myself as a high-tech babe. My keyboard is my professional life line; the DSL connection is my economic umbilical chord.

Bottom Line: A slow Internet connection is better than no connection at all.

10. Geeks at the dinner table: A scientist who came to dinner chatted about the Internet in 1991. After ignoring his chit-chat about the electronic highway (zzzzzzz), I eventually woke up and learned to travel in Cyberspace.

Bottom Line: When my bubble head popped, I enjoyed the pleasure of finding my brain.

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The Frugal Duchess Booktique
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The Poetry & Drama Queen
Frugal Jazz & Blues
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Typing Class Regrets: My 10 Career Goofs: An English Major's Lament!

* ETA: Special Welcome to new visitors from MSN Smart Spending Blog. Please look around my blog! Thanks for stopping by!


My list of Bubble Head memories is long: I took a typing class in high school. I knew, of course, that only big-hair girls who wanted to be secretaries took that class. Now, I wish I had paid more attention to the typing drills.

So here's my list of 10 Bubble Head Career Errors:

1. Typing Class. In the mid-70s, as a honors high school student, (one of the smart girls!) I pictured handing off hand-written, rough drafts to a secretary, who would type all of my memos and corporate reports. Who knew that computers (with email life-lines) would come along and I'd be typing everything myself?

Oh, I'm a decent typist, but I'd like to go back in time and whisper in the ear of my teenage-self: 1) Pay attention to the typing instructor!! 2) Take this class seriously. 3) This is the one of the few high school classes that you will need every day of your adult life.

Bottom line: I'd be richer now, if I paid more attention to typing class.

2. Take a business class!! Okay, Miss English Major: Could you have taken at least one business management course? Can we please trade a little bit of Beowulf or Chaucer for Self-Employment 101?

The Liberal Arts are great, but I'd have more time for the arts today, if I made more time for a business education in college. By the way, I loved Georgetown University, which has great business, law, foreign service, medical & liberal arts programs. Yeah! That's a plug for my school.

Bottom line: Even my inner poet wishes that I had a better head for business.

3. Internships: I had my first internship shortly after graduating from Georgetown. (CAS '80) Why did I wait? I received a great education, but I should have taken more time to find an internship program during my undergrad years.

Bottom line: Internships provide professional head starts.

4. The big Duh!?! factor: I've wanted to be a writer since I was eight years old. I became a journalist. Why didn't I join the staff of any of my school papers?

Bottom Line: Duh!

5. Graduate School: I've always loved going to school, but I waited until I was almost 50 years old before going to grad school.

Bottom line: Don't get me started on this one. Don't get my mother started. She will give you an earful. My folks have been urging me to go back to grad school since I left college.

6. Wall Street: I became a financial writer. In hindsight, I wished I had spent more time reading the business section of newspapers during my early 20s.

Bottom line: There is always a bottom line, even in poetry.

7. Beauty obsessions: Why did I act like a supermodel? Can I take back all of those hours I spent getting my hair "fried, dried and laid to the side." And what about all of those hours getting manicures, facials, etc? Why did I waste those billable hours?

Bottom Line: What was I thinking? Clearly nothing: I was an air-head in training.

8. Self-help relationship books: OMG! Do you have an hour for me to vent? I had a stack of books with different titles, but the same themes: 1. Please make him love me; 2. How to Find Prince Charming 101; 3) How to Fix Your Broken Heart and finally, my least favorite: 4) How to Break His Heart. OMG!

Those books only made me stupid, because while I was reading about my low-self esteem, I was lowering my IQ. I should have been reading about business plans, self-employment and career goals.

Bottom line: You are what you read.

9. Computers 101: In the mid 80s, a dear friend introduced me to an Apple computer and insisted I learn a few basics about computers. Ha! I should have paid more attention. What's more, I should have taken a course after later realizing that computers were becoming essential to the writing profession.

Bottom line: Don't ignore technology.

10. The geek at my dinner table. In 1991, before the World Wide Web was such a big deal, a really cool, but somewhat geeky scientist came over to dinner. He raved about how scientists and researchers all over the world all chatted to each other over some kind of electronic highway.

I listened, yawned and continued eating.

Bottom line: Don't be narrow-minded. Listen to geeks and pay attention to dinner guests. And above all: Recognize prophecy when it's served at your own table.

Recent Posts
Today:
Permanently Parked: How & When to Ditch the Old Car

Frugal Gift Guide: Pretty DIY Baskets (Last-Minute Specials)

Yesterday:

What's More Than a Hummer, Beemer or Mercedes? Why We Ditched Our Old Car
Don't Shake & Eat: A Holiday Health Guide to Save $500 & Up

Financial Points from D-Wade's 31-Pt Eclipse of the Suns

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Financial Points from D-Wade's 31-Pt Eclipse of the Suns

* ETA: Special Welcome to Miami Heat Fans! Let's Go Heat!!

My sons and I are big fans of Dwyane Wade, the All-Star guard for the Miami Heat. I learned a lot about personal finance from tracking D-Wade's total eclipse of the Phoenix Suns earlier this week. The Heat won 117 to 113 ("Scintillating finish") and the game provides a good playbook for financial management.

Here's what I learned:

• 
  Recovery requires hard work and rehap: D-Wade aka "the Flash" had knee and shoulder surgeries over the summer, following devastating injuries during the 2006-2007 season. With hard work and rehab, Wade plays better with each game and has had a string of 30-point-plus games. The Lesson: Even if I have serious setbacks (financial, professional or personal), I can rally back with proper exercise, good judgement and discipline. Credit scores can be improved; accounts can be balanced. Tomorrow, I will write a piece about sports, money & rehabilitation.) In the meantime, here is a helpful article about sports injuries.


• Adversity is an excellent teacher: Quite frankly, the Miami Heat b-ball team was off to a horrible start this season. I cringed when I listened to the games on the radio. My sons and I averted our eyes when we glanced at the sports sections. But the Heat have finally put together a two-game winning streak. "We found out a lot about ourselves in these last two games," said Udonis Haslem, who plays forward. The Lesson: I've made some stupid mistakes (personal, professional and financial) in my life. I've had some horrible starts. But being stupid taught me how to be smart. Sometimes from a pit, I have a great view of the world and the motivation to climb forward.



• Consistency is important: Now that they have won a few games, the Heat need to keep the drive going. Here's what Shaq (#32 Shaquille O'Neal ) said in the Miami Herald: "This was a good game for us...Now, we just need some consistency." The Lesson: Consistency and strong performances (financial and otherwise) are a daily struggle. Saving money is a daily drill.



• Assist others: Phoenix guard Steve Nash is not one of my favorite players, but I admire him. I sort of understand why he has been named MVP in past years. He moves the ball well; he manages the floor and he gets his team involved in the action. For instance, over the last 7th games (as of December 11), Nash has earned at least 14 assists per game. He feeds the ball to his teammates. (He had one great behind-the-back pass, that was one of the Top 10 Plays of the night on NBA.com.) The Lesson: It's not enough to just score points. You have to play defense and you have to help other people score. Likewise, I've really made an effort to get my children involved in frugal living. From Nash, I see the importance of assisting others and giving back.

• Seize the moment: "You have to take opportunities," said Miami Heat Coach Pat Riley, according to a quote in the Miami Herald. "When you have an open shot, take it and make it."
  

By the way JLP at AllFinancialMatters recently ran a great post (The Top Ten Endorsement Income Athletes for 2007) that mentioned LeBron James and money. LeBron -- a good friend of D-Wade -- is also very smart about money and about giving back to others.

Frugal sports tip: NBA.com has terrific game highlights, post-game shows and other video clips that are excellent. We don't have standard or cable TV in my house, but through the Internet we watch many entertainment and sports programs.

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I Was a Bratz Doll in a Barbie World; Lessons from My Failed Broadcast Career

I began my career in television news and I wanted to be a talking head. But I had a squeaky voice and in the world of Barbie Doll anchors (1980s-style), I looked more like a Bratz doll or one of those teeny-tiny Kelly dolls that look like Barbie's baby sister without the makeup, the figure or the heels.

I worked with super people; I had great opportunities and I was a big failure. But I learned a lot and those lessons turned my not-made-for-TV career into a very valuable experience.

"Successful individuals welcome failure to fail successfully."

--Year To Success by Bo Bennett

With Bennett's advice in mind, here's what I gained from my stalled broadcast career:

1. Frugal living. My salary was small, so I learned a lot of lessons about financial planning and frugal living: I purchased books in a used book store, found an affordable (comfortable) apartment and used public transportation to commute. Okay, honestly: other important lessons about financial discipline took years to really sink in, but eventually I did learn and those seeds were planted during my early career experiences.

2. Diverse income is important: Too supplement the income from my first job and boost my ailing ego, I became a part-time petite runway model at a local Saks Fifth Avenue branch; my roommate and I cleaned a wealthy woman's home once a week and I began writing freelance articles.

3. Take voice lessons or learn a new skill: Even after several months of voice lessons with a professional coach, I still sounded like I was 12 years old, but I learned a lot about breathing and pitch. I never sounded polished enough to read on-air news copy, but the lessons helped me to develop a pleasant phone voice.

Later, my unusual voice turned into an asset when I worked the phones as a Wall Street beat reporter at Institutional Investor newsletters in New York and later in Miami. I still sound like a little kid, but now that I'm almost 50, it's kind of funny.

4.Take risks: In leaving broadcast news, I left a great job and a lot of people that I would later miss very much, but I found my voice in the process. In hindsight, there are a number of professional and personal situations that I would have handled differently. But my mistakes made me smarter and kinder in the long-run. Bottom Line: It's not what you do, but what you learn.

5. Be kind to yourself: My early career was such a disaster because quite frankly, I hated myself so much. I spent years wishing that I was taller, prettier and blessed with a low-range voice.

But once I got over myself, I got over hating myself and just accepted the fact that I am a print writer with a high voice. In fact, my salary and career improved once I just accepted myself as-is. I've saved a lot of money since I've stopped trying to be Malibu Barbie. Besides, I think Bratz dolls are way cool.

Here's a quick shot of celebrity setbacks & successes.

"You always pass failure on the way to success." --Mickey Rooney

Oprah: The #1 broadcast maven was quickly pulled off the air after her early anchor woman stint. The problem: Reportedly, she had trouble reading copy from the teleprompter and emoted too much. The Transformation: Oprah was offered a chance be a morning talk-show host and the rest was broadcast history.

Conrad Hilton: Paris Hilton's grandfather failed as a theater booking manager. He lasted just one summer in that post. He also initially struggled as a banker, before scoring big success in the banking and hotel industries.

Sam Walton: -Lost control of his first store due to a flawed lease agreement with his landlord. His later success with Wal-mart was built on some of the financial lessons from that difficult episode in his life.

R.H.Macy: The founder of Macy's--the big flagship store in New York and elsewhere-- had six failed (open-and-shut) retail stores before he successfully launched his famous department store.

The source for the above examples: Never Bet the Farm by Anthony Iaquinto and Stephen Spinelli Jr.

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