Those are a few of the questions many people wish they had asked before getting married, according to this article in the New York Times. The questions touch on financial, personal and family issues.
Here's a sample:
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect? --Source: NYT
It's an excellent list and a good read. To that list I would add:
1. Do you believe in lying to children about the Tooth Fairy? Do you believe in paying market rates for lost teeth?
2. What's your idea of a vacation?
3. Do you like camping? What do you consider camping?
example: My husband likes the idea of a sleeping bag in the woods.
My version of camping is a cheap motel in Orlando.
Compromise: We've gone camping in rented, rustic cabins.
4. How do you save money? Do you save money?
5. What's your idea of frugal living? What's your idea of luxury?
6. How often do you go shopping? Do you like sales?
7. What's your approach to technology? Do you have to have the latest gadget?
8. What's more important: personal/creative satisfaction or job security and health benefits? Define financial security.
9.What's your opinion on changing baby's diapers? What kind of division of labor? How often are you willing to change messy diapers?
10. Do you need to live in a clean house? How do you feel about a clean house that is disorganized? Are you willing to pay for a cleaning service?
11. Do you need to live in a house? Do you like apartment/condo living? Are you willing to clean up a lawn?
12. Do you have a talent for grocery shopping? Do you like shopping in bulk? Define bulk shopping.
13. How often do you eat out? What do you consider food?
14. Do you like pets? Define pets: fish? hamster? little dog? large lab? pony?
15. Were you spoiled as a child? Do you plan to spoil your children? Define your idea of a spoiled brat?
In August, I wrote a post featuring tips for saving a mixed marriage: a saver & a spender.
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